And fell in love with you more and more each day?
You mean the world to me.
Too bad I can’t make an effort.
On the bright side… I got my cap and gown today… FSDFGSDGGSDGS.
Well fuck this. I’m impatient. -Keeps spamming you-
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you?
And in another life, I would make you stay, so I don’t have to say you were the one who got away…
Forcing myself to stop liking you. It’s not always the most enjoyable thing. But I begin to find faults. To open a crack in the perfect image I’ve drawn up of you. I tell myself. “No one’s perfect.” Start to find something wrong. Anything. Even the smallest detail.
And then it starts. I start to hate myself more and more for thinking like this. I start to dislike you. And it sucks. Feeling like this. Everything.
So let’s try this again.
But to be honest. I haven’t been able to feel strongly for anyone… So you might be nothing.
Sometimes Cupid is Stupid… And it looks like I’ve been shot.
Happy Valentine’s Day~
I always get all enthusiastic when you take the time to talk to me, but when you don’t, and I’m doing all the work. I just die a little bit more on the inside. I really hate pulling conversations. But when I trip from every smile you make, and chuckle with every joke to say, I can’t help but want to talk to you more and more.
You’re constantly on my mind, and you probably don’t think of me at all. I struggle to get your attention. I try my best to keep the conversation going. Yet, in just a few minutes, everything I tried to build falls apart.
You know. Trying to make conversation. I keep realizing it just means you don’t want to talk to me. Or you’re just busy. But why do I keep doing this to myself?
Just a smile brings it all back to me. Maybe I’m falling. Or this would be just a crush.
So why won’t you give me a chance?
-Hopefully you don’t read this. But who am I kidding, you don’t think of me at all-
So today, I was walking out of Macy’s and I saw you… You were with a friend. We walked past each other. I noticed you, and you probably didn’t notice me. It was only a split second. And out I went the door and in you went. In that split second… you made my heart rush. It was beating ever so fast. I didn’t know if you noticed me. So after I got outside, I turned around immediately.
I started to scan the store from the outside looking to see where you went. My heart was still pounding. I don’t know what it was. Feelings of fear, depression, or was I still in like with you? I leaned next to this column and slid against it losing my ground and stability. I was feeling faint.
I hate how I still have lingering feeling for you. I could blame you for not providing me that closure that you said you were giving me, but it’s my fault. I let my guard down. I shouldn’t have let you hold my hands or give me that sense that you still liked me even though I’m a screw-up.
I was thinking up reasons to go back into Macy’s. To run around and act like I’m trying to buy something, but in actuality, I was just looking for you. I went through the whole first floor trying to find you. Wow, I’m such a sucker.
Anyways. I thought that my feelings had all disappeared, but given from my response I had today… I guess not. Shit.
P.S. You don’t have to be so mean about it. Well, I guess it’s partially my fault too, since I try to talk to you so much and become close friends, but that won’t happen seeing as how when I asked you if I could join you, you replied:
um…i want to say no.
And after that, I just let it go. Since I know you’re trying to be nice on the outside and trying your best to be my friend. But on the inside… I just don’t know…
i want to webcam the whole night with you and fall asleep… as if next to you. then when i wake up, you’ll still be there ♥ and it’s seem like this long distance thing was non-existent.
so like yeah. if you see this. please take this into consideration ;]