Posts tagged thoughts.

Mix tapes are rather personal and so romantic. Cassettes are almost going obsolete, so maybe a mix CD? It just doesn’t click as well. And please don’t get me started on a “playlist”.

One day, I will have to climb out of the window to your room and sneak out. One day, I will stupidly think of you and buy something that made me think of you just randomly. And maybe one day, when we walk through a dark alley for a talk at night, it’ll feel perfect.

And maybe one day, I can just say “I dig you” and it will just seem right.

But I have to find you first.

It’s 3 am.

Let’s put all these feelings to rest. What am I really doing in life? Where am I headed? I know these feelings will come back and have already come but I feel like I just need motivations. I want to be so many things. I want to live in so many places. I want to do so many things. But what am I doing now? 

I waited at a wedding. There was so much happiness. She found him. He found her. And they partied it out. Their lives were so complete. And so many people were there to witness it. But I feel as though I don’t know if I’d be able to keep all my friends in touch for so many years, even though I told myself we were family.

So to all you who actually see me in Boston. Offline. And to those who I might meet, who knows. Let’s hang out. I miss y’all dearly. And I guess I’m just too worried to put it into a conversation thinking it may be awkward. 

But let’s party it out. Let’s live our youth. And not puke. Lol.

Sometimes it feels like I’m trying so hard and yet it’s all worthless. All of this hard work studying is falling into nothingness. And that’s when I’m at my weakest. And I then feel worthless…

This semester is a mess. I feel like a mess. And I don’t know what to make of it. I’ve been slacking off way too much. I need to step up my game and keep my GPI high. Leggo.

Living vicariously through other people and soaps / dramas… This is the single life.

It’s all the pent up energy just exploded. And I couldn’t control it. 

Why does it feel like I don’t know myself anymore…

In my moments of weakness, I catch myself thinking

Maybe there isn’t anyone out there for me… 

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing something wrong. The fact that I have yet to date anyone. The fact that it feels like no one wants to date me… Well. Great.

If you don’t know the reason for the lie. Ask. Don’t fucking get mad. 

I know I lied. But you were equally as hurtful. Now I feel lost. 

I feel so detached to this world. Everyone. Everything. Things just passing by me. Now what?

With no tree, presents, or decorations… It feels like Christmas is just another day. Just another day. Have enough fun for me!

What does it feel like to fall in love? I know it sounds a little corny but I honestly don’t know. What I thought was love, wasn’t. It was just a false delusion I had. All based on appearances. 

Falling in love. You just don’t know when it happens. When you fall for someone. Conversation is made and you just become… enchanted. Each and every word moves a piece of your heart. Or is this just my imagination of what love is. And I won’t ever feel such a way about someone. 

Well. Either way. I know I’m confused. Or at least troubled by not finding this person. And worried that I ever will. 

 
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